We All Need a Loyal Friend...

A Friend is Loyal

“But the thing that makes Woody special is that he'll never give up on you. Ever. He'll be there for you no matter what.” (Toy Story 3)

We are in the middle of a 5 week series called “New Friend Request.” It is my hope that at the end of this series we will have better idea of why we need friends, what things make a good friend and how to choose our friends wisely. The big idea I want us to take away from these 5 weeks is this...“Your friends will determine the direction and quality of your lives.” The people you hang out with and spend time with the most will have a direct impact on the choices you make. Proverbs 13:20 says this exact thing.

“Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble”

“Become wise by walking with the wise; hang out with fools and watch your life fall to pieces.” (The Message)

Last week we talked about the importance of friends. A person alone in this world is in trouble. We all need a friend. We were designed to have friends. Genesis 2:18 says that after God made the first man He said “It is not good for the man to be alone.” Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 echoes this sentiment. “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.”
We need a friend or two in our life...but we need the right kind of friend. The type of friend God wants for us.
This week I want to talk about what makes a true friend.

Yesterday I watched Toy Story 3. (Great movie if you haven’t seen it by the way. )The main character is Woody. Now Woody is far from perfect. he gets jealous, He does selfish things at times, but the thing I love about Woody is he cares about Andy (his owner.) He wants to bring Andy joy. He feels like that is his great calling in life, to be there for Andy. We all know the theme song to Toy Story right....

You've got a friend in me. You’ve got a friend in me......( you can sing along if you like :-)

It’s a great song (I think.) There is one line in this song though I want to focus in on. It says “There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you. We stick together we can see it through.” That’s a friend. You find someone like that, you have got yourself a loyal friend and we all need a loyal friend. Someone who sticks with you no matter what. We all need a friend...and those friends should be loyal.

Woody says it perfectly “What matters is that we're here for Andy when he needs us.”

That is true friendship. It is that kind of attitude that makes a loyal friend. Being there for someone else. We all want a friend like this, don’t we? We all need a friend like this don’t you think? A loyal friend. Someone who cares more about us that they do about themselves?? A true friend is loyal. I mean...don’t you want to know that the friends you have in your life care more about you then they do themselves? The problem is, many of your “friends”...they don’t care about you. They care about themselves...If are friends will determine the direction and quality of our lives, are these the “friends” we want determining our choices and future? Are these the people you want choosing the kind of life you have? People who don’t really care about you???
We all need a loyal friend.

Proverbs 17:17 says it perfectly I think. “A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need.” The word here that says “loyal” comes from a hebrew word which means the same thing as love. The ESV translation says it this way “A friend loves at all times.” What kind of love is it talking about?? It’s the love that God has for us. The love He showed on the cross when He died for you and me. That’s what a loyal friend looks like. They love, like Jesus, at all times.

Now friendship can be a tricky thing. We read a verse like this and think a friend is someone who just accepts us for you we are. Doesn’t loving someone mean you just accept them?!?! Now while it is true, a true friend is someone who accepts us for who we are...that’s not the only thing a friend should do. See, you can accept someone without actually loving them but if you love someone you will accept them.....but you will do more. We, many times, are willing to settle for a friend who simply accepts and we don’t go any further. People like to be accepted. Acceptance is an important part of a any friendship, but it’s only one part. There are people I went to high school and college with, people who got into all sorts of trouble who had friends that accepted them but didn’t actually love them. And many times it was those “friends” that got them into trouble to begin with. Acceptance is important...just not the only thing.”

I watched a special last night on a guy by the name of Lemmy. Lemmy is the lead guy in a heavy metal band called Motorhead. As I was watching the documentary it got me thinking. See, in the metal world friends are tight. Metal guys stick close to their metal cohorts. They accept each other as they are. But that is all they do often. They accept each others drug use, alcohol consumption and other destructive behaviors. They quite often accept each other to death.

Hey I want a friend that accepts me...but at what cost???

Proverbs 18:24 says “There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.” I like how it puts the word “friends” in quotes because one who destroys is no friend at all. One accepts another to death...a friend who simply accepts but is not willing to love (you will see the difference in a moment) is no friend at all. It is that type of friend that will destroy your life and your dreams. A person who makes and chooses friends too easily is in trouble of destruction.

But a person who thinks and chooses their friends wisely is smart because a real friend sticks close. A loyal friend will accept you, but they will also do so much more. The word friend used here and other places in the Bible is a word that means “one who loves.”

Someone who loves you accepts for who you are, but they are not willing to leave you there. A loyal friend cares about what is best for you. A loyal friend is even more concerned about you than they are about the friendship. They are more concerned with what is best for you than they are with being accepted by you and what is best for you is what God wants for you. A loyal friend, biblically speaking, is a person who accepts you for you who are but also wants you to grow closer to God and will do whatever is necessary to help you achieve this.

We need friends that help us grow closer to God, not further away.

“A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need.”...“A friend loves at all times.”

As we go through our day, we need to ask ourselves, am I making friends that love me? Am I creating relationships with people who will draw me closer to God or am I making “friends” who will destroy me? Do I have loyal friends in my life? Your friends will determine the direction and quality of your life. A phony friend won’t take you in the direction you want to go...you need a loyal friend to get you where you want to be.

“The thing that makes a true, loyal friend special is that they'll never give up on you and helping you become the person God’s wants you to be. They will never give up on you...Ever. They'll be there for you no matter what.”